No more Faith...

If you've ever wondered what you truly want in your life, you'll understand my thoughts. I don't know what everyone else wants but this is want I want, love. Not romantic love, per say, but true love for God and those around me. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I believe to be true and what reasons I have for believing them. It occurred to me that I believe in things that no scientist or philosopher could ever prove to be true. I believe in a almighty, omniscient, omnipresent Being who transcends both time and space. A being so righteous that by entering his presence I would die. I can't even look in his direction without being changed or destroyed. I believe that He created not only this world, but also the universe that it is suspended in. He did this using nothing, ex nihilo, completely against the rules of science. Yet I believe all of this. I believe against all scientific precepts. I can’t observe God; I can’t scientifically, rationally, or logically prove that God exists. Yet I believe. We call it faith. I hate it but that’s what it is. Faith. I really don’t like faith. Faith is hard and it forces you to look like an idiot. Now everyone knows that I am an idiot, that’s no secret, but I at least like to make a good front. Faith makes me feel hung out to dry. Hope really isn’t any better. Hope is expecting something to happen in the future. I found this in one dictionary, “The theological virtue defined as the desire and search for a future good, difficult but not impossible to attain with God's help.” So in essence hope is the irrational expectation of future. I know that’s a bit cynical, but seriously, what better definition is there? Which leaves me with love. The best definition that I know of for love is simply this, “to thrive on; need.” Paul wrote to the Corinthian church,
“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
I don’t often share my favorite song with people because it requires so much explanation, and I normally just don’t want to bother with it, but here it is. “No More Faith” by Andrew Peterson, followed quickly by his song “Let Me Sing.” Both songs show what I feel at my heart, complacency, with the want of action, darkness being burned away in the light, victory in failure, utter awe at what was done for me, doubt with a driving desire to believe. I want to share the lyrics with you, so maybe you’ll understand.

“No more Faith” Andrew Peterson
This is not another song about the Mountains
Except about how hard they are to move.
Have you ever stood before them,
Like a mustard seed that’s waiting for some proof?

I say faith is a berden
It’s a weight to bare
It’s brave and bitter sweet
And hope is hard to hold to
Lord I believe
Only help my unbelief

Till there’s no more faith
No more hope
I’ll see you face and Lord I’ll know
That lonely love remains

Have you ever heard that Jesus is the answer?
And thought about the mean doubts you hide
Have you wondered how he loves you
If he really knows how dark you are inside

I say faith is a burden
It’s a weight to bare
It’s brave and bitter sweet
And hope is hard to hold to
Lord I believe
Only help my unbelief

Till there’s no more faith
No more hope
I’ll see you face and Lord I’ll know
That lonely love remains

So I will drive these road
In thunder and in rain
And I will sing your songs
At the top of my lungs
And I will praise you Lord
In glory and in pain
And I will follow you till this race is run
And I will drive these roads
Till this motor won’t run
And I will sing your song
From sea to shining sea
And I will Praise you Lord
Till you Kingdom come
And I will follow where you lead

I say faith is a burdon
It’s a weight to bare
It’s brave and bitter sweet
And hope is hard to hold to
Lord I believe
Only help my unbelief

Till there’s no more faith
No more hope
I’ll see you face and Lord I’ll know
There’s no more faith
There’s no more hope
I’ll sing your praise and let them go
There’s only love,
only love
That’s what I want, I don’t want faith, and I don’t want hope. Only love.
A.T.H.