Turning the Page

By the time I post this I will be safely back home in my apartment on campus, but as I sit here typing I’m amongst friends. Most of who are asleep or close to it. Conversations haven’t quite lulled but the ones that are let are of a nature that a third party would not be appropriate. So I sit here in a rocking van, rolling westbound down I-94, and pondering the events of an emotional roller coaster. So far I’ve pondered these things to the tune of Nickel Creek, set to write them down to the now famous “Dragostea Din Tea” (Numa numa) by O-zone, and now writing to a bit of lite jazz, courtesy of Miss Jane Monheit. This was a chorale weekend, and so sleep is well deserved, but for me it was more. It was my last chorale weekend. This was my last concert, my last chance to do it right, to do it with my all of my heart. This was my last chance to ware the tux, and sing with this group. It’s a mix of emotion, I’m happy to be rolling back to campus, but in the same way I wish we could turn around and head out on tour again.
My reason for righting this isn’t really for the benefit of my foreign readers, but for more for my friends who keep tabs on me this way. I own you all so much. I expressed to a friend at the conclusion of our concert that my tears were not necessarily for Prof, though some of them most defiantly were, but for a grand mix of people and traditions that I will be leaving behind me after the next three weeks. I plan to keep in touch, and I hope you do as well, but it will never be the same. It is a great thing to know that you are loved. As friend after friend sought me out after the concert, and I tried desperately to hold back the tears that welled up in my eyes, I knew that I was loved. Which makes the parting even harder. I love you all, though I often show it in the oddest ways, and will never forget you. For those who have gone before me, thank you for your time, hours spent talking into the wee hours of the morning. You’ve helped me ask the questions that I needed to ask and find the answers in the right place. To you I am eternally grateful, you filled my time with memories that will stay with me until I die. You pushed me, kept me on track, inspired me, enlightened me, and supported me. I love you all and pray that God is blessing you where you are right now.

To my friends I am about to leave…there are no words for what you mean to me. In the past two years you have been my smile when I have had none, my comfort when there was none, my sanity when my world was failing all around, my laughter when I could not, my strength when I could not stand on my own. I meant it when I said that you’ve become my family. There are so many things I want to say to you, and in the next three weeks I know I will find the time to say them. You’ve been my joy, and now you are my reason for sorrow. Morty, you’ve been my company this year that I could not have lived with out. Jones you’ve kept my sense of humor in a very sick, corrupted sort of way. Yankey, you’ve been the spark of innocence that I could only strive to obtain. Do not strive to be like me, it’s not a place I would want to see you, instead I should be striving to be like you. Aeron, you’ve been a smile in my life, and I own you more than the sarcasm that you all too often get from me. Bryan, you’ve been a sense of release for my stress, an outlet for my wit, and a comrade in the finer things of life. Erica, even though you graduated last year, I include here because our friendship has grown to be something I depend on. Even though you’re half a world away you’ve become my confidant and one of my greatest friends and allies. And you’re sister did me an honor by putting me on that list, not a disservice. Liz, though we haven’t seen each other in three years, our conversations this year have been bright spots in my day/even/night/late night. I treasure our conversations and while I don’t believe it will happen any time in the near future, I do hope to see you again soon. Finally Allison. What you’ve been to me there is no word for in the English language. The things we’ve talked about, the problems we’ve discussed, the council that you’ve given. In my distress you’ve given me you ears, in my tears you’ve given me you’re shoulder, in my blindness you’re eyes, for my lose you’re observation. You’ve been the friend I’ve longed for. The debt I have to the school doesn’t even measure next to the debt of gratitude I’ve amassed with you. I will be less nest year without you. I will be less next year with out all of you. But as Prof has said, the page is turning. This chapter of my life is almost over, and the rest of my life a waits me elsewhere in this world. And far or near I must run to meet it.

I will say all this an more to you before I graduate, but I wanted to write it here to make public the debt that I have with you. A debt irreparable and which I will carry with joy. Thank you will never suffice but non the less, thank you. This day could not have been any better. An amazing van load of people (Morty, Steph, Yank, Allison, Byan, Jones, Kent, Scott...love you guys) singing, laughing, and just having fun on a long drive home. Forever, thank you.
A.T.H.