Dé hAoine, Márta 18, 2005

So now What?

Well...I'm back. After a week hiatus from the drudgery that all to often comes from my studies here at IWU, I'm back at the computer, slowly blinding myself by starring unwaveringly into the bright depths that is my screen. My problem tonight is what to write on. there is just so much to write on, geriatric tour 05' in Florida, being back on campus, my sunburn itches, turning into Mr. Fix-it for cars, St. Paddy's day, Morty's 21st birthday, Christians and alcohol, etc. The list litteral just keeps on going. I could write pages alone on what happened over tour. I'm currently writting a semi-brief over-view of my favorite points that I'll post at a later date. It's been an interesting couple of days being back. It's probably fairly obvious that I'm done with being at school, and being away from it for a week doing somthing I absolutly love to do didn't help my demeanor. It was amazing how good I felt, not because I was in Florida, to be honest I really don't like floriday that much (nice to visit, but I don't want to live there), but just because I was off campus. I felt like I was unattached to those things that seem to bring stress just becuase I'm around. I felt normal for the first time since summer. I had time to myself, I was able to sit on the beach and just relax, think, and pray. I needed some time to pray about what is going to happen in the next couple of months after I graduate. I really don't think that I should be going to Fuller, not yet anyway. Maybe I just need some time off but I don't think the time is right for me to go there. I still would love to go to graduate school, but I'm starting to wonder if now is the right time for me to do so. I got back in contact with a church in Connecticut about an internship that I thought would be a really good musical opportunity and I might get the chance to do it with a friend from school who gratuated last year. Then there is the new opportunity with a missions organization that works in Europe. I will need to do a lot more contact work with them before I could really get involved with them, but it could be an opportunity to do exactly what I want to do. It really would be great to get involved with them and it was after prayer for clarification that I found them rather randomly on the net. I may still aply for Grad school, but I right now I'm rather done with school. I want to work, I want to get out there and get my hands dirty. Maybe I'll do what I've been threatening to do and simply just disapear, find cabin or tent in the woods and not come back for a few months, travel to Europe and move around from hostel to hostel playing guitar and singing, working odd jobs here and there for a while. I'm looking for a more fulfilling life and I'm not finding it here. I don't know, I know that I need to graduate so that's my focus for right now. After that, I'm headed to New Zealand, and then PA for the summer. I'll work on it, and hopfully I'll make a decent decision before the summer is out. So that's what's been currently on my mind. There's a lot more, on this subject and on many others. I'll have to keep up with this so I get them all out.

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