Dé Domhnaigh, Meitheamh 12, 2005

The good things in life

When we hear that phrase we so often think of things we would consider extraordinary, but what about the small things that happen everyday that we so often miss? Today, someone from church gave me a car, and said use it as long as you need it. Others told me how glad they were that I'm home for a while, and wondered how I managed to make it up front today but didn't manage to sing, people I don't even know. I got to see a lot of my old friends and got the chance to have lunch with them. It was a gorgeous day, and I ended up having a lot of fun. So, life is good, yes? I guess it depends what you consider a good life. I consider it good, though from time to time it's a little boring, but not all of life can be exciting right? Even on the trail you have to walk through a lot of forest to get to somthing really spectacular. Even the trail can be mundain after you've been on it for a while. But so what.
I've often looked down at people who I think are over spiritualizing there life. Maybe I should start this by saying that in my theology I believe that we are responsible for many things in life. True I often confess to be a Calvinist but...God created us to be intellegent, rational, movable creatures, and pardon me if I believe that he expects me to use it from time to time. It's a fine line that I walk, but I believe that by constantly making decisions, and choseing to live for his will and pleasure that I will find it no matter which way I decide. So obviously I believe anyone who believes that God told you directly to do somthing, especially somthing like marrying some one, should be taken with a grain of salt. I don't believe that we should wait around for God to answer all of our questions and make all of our decisions. It just does not make sense to me to sit and pine away doing this. I say that it is a fine line that I walk, because I also believe that I should wait for God to answer me and show me the way in some cases. I know that I probably just said the most ludicrous things you've ever heard, but it works in my mind. I'm one always looking for a balance in life, in my life especially. I truly believe that God allows us to make dicisions on our own, but I also believe that He reveals his will to us on certain occasions when there is no other way or He choses to do so.
So what was all this about? For a long time I placed relationships in the catagory of, God will provide, but now I'm not so sure. I'm not totally in the camp of "it's completly up to me" either. I think that this may even create a new catagory of working together. I still believe that God will bring the people into my life that need to come into my life, but it maybe up to me to explore those relationships and find out who fits where.
Am I saying this, becuase I've found that particular someone I've long sought? Frankly, no. I may have meet her, or she may still be out there, but for now...it needs to be just the two of us, God and me that is. It's not that I believe that I'm not ready, of course I think that I'm ready, but...there needs to be more time where I just settle in with my heavenly father and learn. I need to be prepared to spend the rest of my life on my own, and I would rather do that than chase shadows. I'm actually fine with being single, I like it. I can make the decisions I need to make, and have them effect only me. I like being able to pick up at litterally a moments notice and leave, and not know exactly what is out there for me.
So other than the rather personal retort at the end, what do you think? Can there be a balance? Are we the rational, intellegent beings (though often I think we don't use it) that I've made us out to be? Are we expected to use it? Or should we all be ultra-Calvanist and wait for God to releave every part of our lives to us? Is there really anything like special revelation or do we just experience it on a daily basis and not realize it? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

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