Déardaoin, Meitheamh 23, 2005

So...Now What?

Ok, so...now what? It's a question that I've heard a lot over the past 5 years of school, and especially now since I've left. Every Sunday I'm at church I have at least five or six people ask me the question right after they've asked me how it feels now that I'm graduated. Personally I've asked myself that particular question every day I've been back in this country. It's at this point that my dreams kick in and I pick on and go with it. I don't think that I've given the same answer to any two people I've talked to so far. Heck, I don't even give myself the same answer. I've really been considering the possibility of packing up my gear and heading out into the woods for a few days. Maybe hike some of the Appalachian trail. I've got things that might happen in the future, things to work toward, to strive for, but nothing for right now. I've been kind of just sitting around, doing some work around the house, reading, playing video games, watching movies and tv, and waiting for my car to be fixed (which it is by the way), and trying to find a job. Since the last one on the list hasn't worked out so far, I've been doing a good bit of the other ones. Frankly, some of the stuff is really wearing thin. In anycase, I'm just going to keep going at things. If I find some work that woudl be great, if not...oh well. I'll know if I'll have that internship in a few weeks and if I don't get it I can move forward appropriatly. I'm not sure what that move would be, probably a year or so with GEM, Greater European Missions. I've been talking with them the past semmester, and they seem pretty interested in me, but I need to wait on that until I hear about the internship. So...now what? I'm back to that question. I'm starting to thing that my answer for now is just to wait and enjoy the time that I have to relax and just be where I am for the time being. I keep talking about not having a home, and moving around a lot, you know the "foxes have dens" things, but now that I have time to just be where I am I think of it more as wasting time and being stuck. If there is one thing that school taught me it was to be active, and the inactivity of the past few weeks has had me on edge more than anything, but maybe that's the point. Maybe I need to, just for a while, be somewhere and not have somthing to do or a dead line to meet. So...now what? Come what may, even if I just have to wait for a while.

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